We need to talk. I think it's time we break up.
No, no, no, don't be offended. It's not you - it's me. My belly just can't handle the way you make it feel.
I've been without you for 19 days now, and to be honest, I am doing just fine. Sure, there are moments when I see a brownie or a hunk of garlic bread, when I feel like throwing caution to the wind and taking a bite, but instead, I have decided that my self control could use the exercise and I walk away.
Thank you for understanding.
Goodbye (for good?),